Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Randomize
