Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
