another moral hangover. fuck.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
