i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
worst night to have a conscience
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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