He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
