Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
