Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
