I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
