Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
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