Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
