just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
