He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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