I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
