I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
