doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
my nose is crying tears of wow.
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