I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
my liver is dry heaving
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
