There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
