Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
The Olympian is in my bed
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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