You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
