is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
MIDGETS
????
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
