Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
