Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
