Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
