Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
