No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
