ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
