U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
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