You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
