do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
