When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
