Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
