I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
