Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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