I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
