Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
