she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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