I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
