i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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