Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
