No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Boobs speak an international language.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
