Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
