haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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