Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
