It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
