my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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