Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he thought i was a dude.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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