Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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