Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
