We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
