4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
