Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
