I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
