i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
