State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
